Maria
🚨 Evidence

Maria is a terrible friend.

A thoroughly unbiased investigation. ⚠️ Joke website. We love her.

🌀
Master gaslighter "That never happened." It happened. We were both there.
😤
Bullies me constantly Relentless. No mercy. I live in fear.
👊
Quick to violence One mildly wrong opinion and she's already swinging.
😈
Just plain mean Said something unnecessarily harsh and then smiled about it.
🪞
Gaslit me about the gaslighting Denied the bullying. Denied the violence. Denied being mean. Classic Maria.

Despite all of the above — she shows up when it actually matters. Chaotic, ridiculous, and completely irreplaceable.